The Dark Night of the Soul: What It Really Is and How to Walk Through It

The dark night of the soul is a period of spiritual emptiness in which the beliefs, practices and feelings that once gave your life meaning seem to fall away, leaving you disoriented, flat and unsure of who you are. The phrase comes from the 16th-century Spanish mystic St John of the Cross, who described it as a painful but purposeful stage on the path toward deeper spiritual life. Today many people use it to describe any season where the old self is dissolving before a new one has formed.

If that sounds like where you are, you are not broken and you are not alone. This guide explains where the idea really comes from, the common signs, how it differs from clinical depression (an important distinction), and a simple daily practice for moving through it with more steadiness.

One honest note before we begin: a dark night is a spiritual and existential experience, not a diagnosis. If your low mood is heavy, persistent or frightening, please speak with a doctor or licensed therapist. Spiritual practice can sit alongside that care, never replace it.

Where does the dark night of the soul come from?

St John of the Cross (1542–1591) was a Carmelite friar and poet in Spain. Together with Teresa of Ávila, he worked to reform the Carmelite order toward a simpler, more contemplative life. That work was controversial, and in 1577 he was seized by members of his own order and held in a tiny cell in Toledo for around nine months before escaping.

During and after that imprisonment he wrote a short poem, often translated as The Dark Night, about a soul slipping out of its house at night to meet the beloved. He later wrote a longer prose commentary on it, known as Dark Night of the Soul. In it he describes two phases:

• The night of the senses — the comfort and sweetness a person once felt in prayer dries up, and old habits and attachments lose their hold.
• The night of the spirit — a deeper and rarer purification, in which even one's ideas about God and the self are stripped back.

For John, the darkness was not a punishment or a sign of failure. He saw it as a hidden form of guidance: the soul is being emptied so it can be drawn into a more direct, less ego-centred union with God. The night feels like loss precisely because something familiar is being removed.

Modern spiritual writers have widened the term beyond its Christian setting. Today people use "dark night of the soul" for any profound season of meaning-collapse that precedes growth — after a loss, a breakdown of faith, a burnout or a spiritual awakening. That broader use is helpful, as long as we remember its roots.

Signs you may be in a dark night of the soul

No two dark nights look the same, but people who describe this experience often report several of the following:

• Practices that once nourished you — prayer, meditation, ritual — now feel dry or pointless.
• A sense that your old identity, goals or beliefs no longer fit, without a clear replacement.
• Feeling far from God, spirit or your intuition, as if the line has gone quiet.
• Losing interest in status, achievement or approval that used to drive you.
• Deep questions about meaning, death and what really matters.
• A strange mixture of grief and quiet honesty, as if illusions are falling away.
• Wanting more solitude and simplicity, and less noise.
• Occasional moments of unexpected peace or clarity in the middle of the fog.

That last sign matters. Many people describe the dark night as painful but not entirely hopeless. Underneath the emptiness there is often a faint sense that something true is being uncovered, even if they cannot yet name it.

Dark night of the soul vs depression: how to tell the difference

This is the most important section of this guide. The dark night of the soul and depression can look similar from the outside, and they can happen at the same time. Treating real depression as "just a spiritual phase" can delay help that genuinely makes a difference.

Some general differences that writers and clinicians often point to:

• Focus: a dark night tends to centre on meaning, faith and identity. Depression often brings a heavy, pervasive low mood that colours everything, including sleep, appetite and energy.
• Self-worth: in a dark night people may feel lost but not worthless. Depression frequently brings intense guilt, self-criticism or a sense of being a burden.
• Functioning: many people in a dark night still manage daily life, if more quietly. Depression can make getting out of bed, working or caring for yourself very hard.
• Glimmers: a dark night often contains moments of stillness or honesty. Depression can feel flat and closed, with little relief.

Please reach out to a doctor or licensed mental-health professional if your low mood lasts most days for two weeks or more, if you have lost interest in almost everything, if your sleep or appetite has changed significantly, or if you notice thoughts of harming yourself. If you ever feel unsafe, contact your local emergency number or crisis line straight away.

Seeking support is not a failure of faith. Many spiritual traditions value wise companions on the path, and a good therapist can help you hold the deep questions without being swallowed by them.

Want to go deeper? Our master course Navigating Your Spiritual Awakening turns this into a guided, 8-lesson practice. The first lesson is free.

Why the dark night of the soul happens

Spiritually, many traditions describe this season as a clearing. The ego's usual supports — certainty, recognition, control, even the pleasant feelings of spiritual practice — are loosened so that something less fragile can grow. In the language of Carl Jung, it can resemble a confrontation with the unconscious, where parts of yourself you have avoided come forward to be met.

Psychologically, a dark night is often triggered by a life event that breaks the story you were living: a bereavement, divorce, illness, career collapse, a crisis of faith, or the end of a long effort. It can also follow a period of rapid spiritual opening, when insights arrive faster than your daily life can absorb them. Our guide to the stages of spiritual awakening explains where this phase commonly appears.

You do not need to decide which explanation is "right". It is enough to treat the experience as meaningful and to care for yourself well while you are in it.

How to move through the dark night of the soul: a daily practice

You cannot force a dark night to end, and trying to rush it usually adds frustration. What you can do is create a steady, gentle structure that keeps you grounded while the inner change does its work. Try this 15-minute practice once a day for a few weeks.

1. Ground your body first (3 minutes). Sit or stand with your feet on the floor. Feel the weight of your body, notice five things you can see and three things you can hear. Our grounding techniques guide has more options if you feel very unsettled.
2. Name what is true today (2 minutes). Say or write one honest sentence, such as "I feel empty and I don't know what I believe right now." No fixing, no spinning it positive.
3. Sit in simple presence (5 minutes). Rather than reaching for an experience, simply rest your attention on your breath or on silence. If nothing happens, that is fine. John of the Cross encouraged quiet, loving attention rather than straining for consolation.
4. Ask one open question (2 minutes). Write a question like "What is ending in me?" or "What am I being asked to let go of?" Let any answer, or no answer, come.
5. Choose one small act of care (2 minutes). Decide on something kind and concrete for today: a walk, a nourishing meal, calling a friend, going to bed early.
6. Close with a gentle line (1 minute). Something like "I don't have to understand this to get through it." Our inner peace affirmations offer more phrases that feel believable on hard days.

Keep the practice small enough that you can do it on your worst days. Consistency matters far more than intensity during a dark night.

What helps (and what tends to make it harder)

People who have come through a dark night often say a few things made a real difference:

• Simplicity. Fewer commitments, more sleep, more time outdoors.
• Honest company. One or two people, a therapist, a spiritual director or a support group who can hear the hard questions without rushing to answers.
• Journaling. Writing lets the confusion move rather than circle. Gentle shadow work can help when old pain surfaces.
• Patience with practice. Keep showing up to prayer or meditation even when it feels dry.

And a few things that commonly make it harder:

• Big, irreversible decisions made in the thick of the fog.
• Numbing with alcohol, endless scrolling or overwork.
• Collecting new spiritual techniques to escape the feeling instead of meeting it.
• Comparing your timeline to anyone else's.

How long does a dark night of the soul last, and what comes after?

There is no fixed timeline. For some people it lasts weeks; for others it is a season of months, or something that returns in waves over years. John of the Cross himself suggested that the deeper night of the spirit could be long. Trying to measure it rarely helps.

What many people describe afterward is not a return to who they were, but a quieter, more honest way of living. Common themes include less need for approval, a simpler and more personal spirituality, more compassion for others who are struggling, and a clearer sense of what truly matters. Faith, if it returns, often feels less like a set of ideas and more like trust.

If you want structured support for this part of the path, our course Navigating Your Spiritual Awakening walks through each phase with practices for staying grounded, and it is included with every RealAttract University membership.

This guide is for personal growth and education. It isn't medical, psychological or financial advice. If you're struggling, please reach out to a qualified professional.